He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
