I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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