The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
its liver damage thursday
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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