I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
