All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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