I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize