I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dignity is for republicans.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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