Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
