it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
