if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
