My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
