Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
