But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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