his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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