i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
