dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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