we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How external is "for external use only"?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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