i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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