Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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