she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
