What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize