arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
