how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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