So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
