nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My life is pants optional.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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