the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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