i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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