Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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