they need to just BURY HIM!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
