If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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