Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
