I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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