Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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