seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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