WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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