You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
