question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
