I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sober January is a disaster.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
