he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
