Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize