Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
