is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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