I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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