if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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