What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
