just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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