My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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