Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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