i permit you to call me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I came so hard my ears popped.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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