your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
