so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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