I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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