Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
