college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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