I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
