I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently you make a good broom.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
