i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
