the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
