Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
