I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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