Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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