My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
