Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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