Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize