I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
