Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
