half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
