It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
