I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
then he tried to convert me to islam
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
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We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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