I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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