i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
